Hookey

I "accidentally" left work a bit early yesterday to squeeze a ride in with my buddy Kev. We were supposed to ride at lunch up in my neck of the woods but, as I mentioned yesterday, the wanker didn't bring his bike. Unfortunately for me, a ride was already in my head and there was no getting it out so a new plan was hatched which involved riding near his place. His ride window as under an hour so I decided to hit Bradbury for an hour beforehand to make the trip worth it. It was butt frickin cold but it was nice to be in the saddle again after a couple of weeks off.

singletrack in Bradbury

post Bradbury with me sportin the hat marcy knit for me for x-mas.

look, another person!

Kev's made the jump into rigid ss'ing on some of his rides this year. I like to take credit for that even if it's not true.

How Ricky Got His Groove Back

Something strange happened over the holidays (and no, I'm not talking about the cross dressing here and here). No, what I'm talking about is the mojo to blog AND ride. I've hardly done either in the last couple of weeks. When I'm riding on a regular basis the blogging takes care of itself because of all the hijinks that I get myself involved in and the ensuing hilarity rivals some of the best british comedy. Sure, us yanks don't understand any of it what with the weird language they speak over there and everything, but it's still pure brilliance as I'm sure you'll all attest.

My major issue is that I've come to L-O-V-E sleep. This isn't a totally new concept for me but my inability to deny myself the luxury is. Lately, when the alarm goes off at 5am for either my morning commute or morning jog, I've given it the finger, rolled over and slept for another couple of hours. The good news is that I'm actually well rested for once, the bad news is that I feel like a tub of cream cheese.

So, the big question is, how do I get my groove back? I have neither the budget nor the time to go on a girls only trip to some sunny place to hit on hunky guys (I'm guessing that's what Stella did since I NEVER saw the movie. really) and, as far as I know, there are no outdoor film festivals coming our way to stoke the fires either. What to do, what to do?

Plan A was for my buddy Kevin and I to ride at lunch today. It was his suggestion so I ASSUMED he'd follow through so, this morning, instead of trying to get up to commute I drove in with the bike in tow only to see Kevin's Tacoma with no frickin bike! Bastada. Fargin ice hole. So the question is, can I get my lazy ass out for a lunch time spin or do I try for an after work jaunt after the temps have dropped approximately 182 1/2 degrees? Only time will tell.


Maybe some oysters on the half shell that I got from Satan Clause will help. Wait a minute, was this more a present for me or Marcy? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Get Well Mike

I was totally bummed today to read on the EFTA website that Mike Patrick has had a serious setback in his battle with brain cancer. Apparently, this past Monday he had a brain hemorrhage and is currently in the hospital fighting like only Mike can.

We're pulling for you Mike. Get well!

You can send well wishes directly to Mike at: bikemike1165@hotmail.com

or via snail mail to:

Mike Patrick
c/o Joan Cousins
60 Broad St.
APt 2h
Milford, CT 06460

Happy Holidays

Happy holidays everyone. As my gift to you all, I'm sparing you the pain involved with reading one of my posts. See, there is something to be thankful for this time of year!

Brief

Today's post needs to be brief. I didn't ride a lick this weekend but that doesn't mean that nothing interesting happened so, for today, I'll be giving you the cliff notes version and hopefully later in the week I'll be able to go in more detail.

Friday night was my company's Christmas party. Most christmas parties are pretty lame but not ours. Imagine 150 people, most of whom are in the construction biz, in an opera house with a bar and 500 free jello shots. Now imagine me doing severely stupid things just to make people uncomfortable. What type of things you might ask? Well, how about grinding with dudes or licking the bare shoulder of one of my female co-workers? AND THEN things really got interesting when we closed the party down and went to one of the bars downtown where I ended up in the dress and tights of one of my other female coworkers and had guys buying me shots all night. None of them got lucky though.

Saturday night, while nursing a mighty hangover, was a ping-pong-a-palooza at the ranch with much merriment and drinking. I could only manage to gag down one beer but most of my friends got lit.

Much more to come.

-15

This morning, after waking up at 3 and being unable to get back to sleep, I made the awesome decision to not fight it and instead gear up and mount the ss steed so that I could grab a couple extra hours of quality time with my office chair. So, I get downstairs and look at the thermometer and, whoa!, it reads a whopping 8 degrees f and the wind is whistling like a mofo out there. No problem, I'm not a pus. Instead of wearing knee warmers like I do down to about 20 degrees, I busted out the tights, put on my thin balaclava (it wasn't cold enough for the fleece one), grabbed my sweet Outdoor Research mitten shells and headed out the door with the rest of my typical winter garb (undi shirt, long sleeve craft thermal, long sleeve jersey and summer weight coat). I'm so manly I'm growing hair on my eyeballs as we speak.

thin balaclava. I have to admit, my ample forehead did get a bit cold on the descents.

now you see mitten

now you don't

Where did the -15 come from? Well, I figured that at 8 degrees and 20-25 mph speeds as I was heading down some of the hills, I easily hit the negative teens with wind chill figured in.

Some Days You Have It

and some days you don't. This morning I most definitely didn't have it. Maybe it was the last second decision to commute by bike, maybe it was the light rain and fog, maybe it was the beer I drank before bed or maybe it was the 10 pounds of food in my now favorite pack, the Ergon BD2 or maybe it was just because my out of shapeness has finally caught up to me and a week off the bike had given me dead legs. One of those things or all of them, I'm not quite sure but I can tell you that this morning's ride sucked donkey d*ck! BUT, and that is a capital but, it was a ride and the only way to get the riding legs back is to ride so ride I did. (four rides in one sentence, now if I can figure out how to get four rides in one week I'd be golden)

Maine is in the tweener season right now. Not quite cold enough for everything to be frozen on the trails but damp enough that any ride leaves you feeling guilty about trail damage. To top that off, there is just enough mushy, slurpee making snow on that ground that riding is pretty much impossible anyway. Sunday I had to abort a trail ride after less than 20 minutes because I was doing more walking than riding and ended up doing a bit of trail reconnaissance around the house instead. I'm starting to get a feel for the spaghetti trail system for next summer so it wasn't all bad. The good news is that we've had a fair amount of rain recently and tomorrow starts a cold snap with temps never climbing out of the 20's so if all goes as planned, the snow and trails will be frozen solid so all I'll need for a ripping good time is to mount the studded tires and an extra layer of clothing.

Sorry

I was totally bummed that I had to miss the Ice Weasels Cometh CX race on Saturday but something came up so that I didn't feel right about going. Marcy tried to kick me out the door early Saturday morning but I wasn't having it. For once in my life, I made the non-selfish choice and chose family over racing. I know, I know, I'll try to not let it happen too often. Gotta keep things in check.

It actually would have been an easier chose to bail on the race if I hadn't let my plans out of the bag. I figured that everyone who knew of what I had in mind would figure that I just wussed out because of the cool temps. 35 degrees? I laugh in your general direction!

Saturday, Marcy's friend Jen came by and they got to talking about my cx outfit and what a bummer it was that I didn't get to show it off so I figured a little runway show was in order.

Warning: You are about too see male cross dressing so if you question your sexuality these might not be the pictures for you because I look H-O-T hot in a mini.

Let Me See That Thong

Some More

After yesterday's spectacularly successful post (read by close to five people) I figured I'd drop another hint about how I'm going to "bring my C game" this weekend. I know people are on the edge of their seats to see just what that redneck from up in the willywacks will pull this weekend. Well, here's a little clue:



Sadly, I'm not nearly as tanned nor do I have any calf high white socks but me thinks that thong looks mighty comfortable and would help keep the chamois induced saddles sores at bay.

You Decide

I'm in a quandary. I picked up two lovely skirts this afternoon for a special occasion coming up this weekend but I can't decide which to wear. The green skirt has nice clean lines, accents my tight bottom and would look great with knee high boots but the white skirt brings out my inner school girl and just begs to be paired with mary janes and pigtails.

Please help! This event is very special for me and I want it to be P-E-R-F-E-C-T!

Now I've Done It

Well, I've gone and done it now. After a week of nearly 6 whopping hours on the bike, I've decided to toe the line at a cross race for the first time in 6 or 7 years. Back when I first got a taste of cross I was still a newb to racing mountain bikes and did the cross races (two of them) on a borrowed bike and raced in the cat 5 class. Despite being in the lowest class at the time, I still got smoked but, in a way, it was fun. Unfortunately, I'm not really built for cross. I can go fast over a long period of time pretty naturally but the shorter the race gets the tougher it is for me. Even most xc races are a bit short for my taste. Over two hours and I'm golden, but drop to below 1.5 hours and I'm not exactly lighting the world on fire.

As a result, I've brushed off repeated attempts by cross heads, like our team manager, to get me into cross. Sure, it seems like it might be fun to have another go at it but after a typical full season of mountain bike racing how could I subject my family to another few months of constant weekend travel and shivering while standing in kankle deep mud?

Thankfully, this isn't a typical year and I didn't do what I consider a full race calendar and have been itching to do something else. The competitive little boy in me NEEDS it! So, yesterday, I signed up for The Ice Weasels Cometh. It's put on by some blogging buddies (who probably won't recognize me when I get there) and looks to be a good time. Laid back feel, smallish fields (for a cross race at least) and free beer should make for a good time even if I do suck it hard while racing.I still don't have a cross bike but thankfully my bro is letting me use his van dessel country road bob ss sorta cross-ish bike for the day. We've traded the bike back and forth like a strung out crack whore over the years and I still regret giving it back to rus a couple of years ago. There is something magic about the bike. It's a nasty green, is heavy as hell and doesn't have a particularly lust worthy build but it has SOMETHING. Maybe it's the curvy down tube or I just enjoy riding something called bob. Who knows really but the magic is there and I look forward to bob and I getting reacquainted this weekend.

Monday Sweet Monday

Yay! Another weekend where I successfully avoided riding my bike. Success! Kidding, of course, I'm not too pumped about that fact but I am pumped that we finished the cedar shingling on the house yesterday so that's one more check mark in the done column. Only about 20 to go. We actually would have gotten the rest of the siding done as well but on Saturday, instead of siding we went to see The Flying Santa with Brynna. The original Flying Santa was a crazy bastage who flew a float plane from lighthouse to lighthouse in the late 20's delivering gifts to the lighthouse keepers as a way of saying thanks. Fast forward almost 100 years and most lighthouses are automated so Santa flies from lighthouse to lighthouse bringing joy to the lives of America's advantaged youths. It was heartwarming and fun to see Santa fly in inside of a million dollar helicopter.

Did that sound negative? It really wasn't supposed to be. It's a fun tradition in the area that I'm sure we'll enjoy for quite a few more years.

This morning I started the week off right with a fun run in the snow followed by a session of pilates. Gotta look good in my bikini when we go to Vegas at the end of January.

It Finally Happened

I knew that at some point it was bound to happen. Realistically, my days of unabomber style riding seclusion had to come to an end eventually and last night it finally did. I found myself, for the first time in a couple of months I think, riding my bike in the woods with other highly developed upright walkers and Channing too. On Thursday morning, we got roughly 2" of rain that left the trails severely saturated and several hub deep puddles but there were only a few actual muddy sections and, overall, I think everyone had a good time. I hope they did at least because I so desperately crave the companionship. Will someone be my friend? Pretty please? We ended up with a bit over 2 hours of ride time on a very curvy loop.

Afterward, to try to trick everyone into liking me, I made sure to have plenty of beer, guacamole and burgers on hand post ride. Sort of like giving kids candy to earn their trust and affection, mountain bikers respond quite positively to beer and food.

The general consensus was that the trails were pretty darn fun (despite my constant apologies-somebody seems pretty desperate huh?) and that with a bit of raking they would be a blast. Now if I can just lure them out to help me rake it all. More beer will probably do the trick I think.

Me "patiently" waiting for everyone to show up. My party dress is on and I'm ready to go people!

This technically wasn't from last night's ride (it was actually Wednesday's reconnaissance ride) but it was a place we stopped to contemplate the beautiful night and confess our innermost fears. FYI, KillBill is afraid of the dark and more specifically, dark basements. What a little girl.

Aliens!

It's a record

I've now ridden my bike three whole days in a row. Essentially hitting my total for the previous three weeks AND I have a ride planned for tomorrow night with actual living people types. I'm so excited!

That is all.

First Sub Ride

This morning's commute marked my first sub freezing ride of the winter season. I usually wear less cold weather clothing than most people but I seem to be a bit thin blooded so far this fall and have required more clothing than usual so, just to be safe, I wore my "mountain bike in any temperature" get up for the ride this morning. Basically it consists of, bibs, wool socks, thermal tights, sleeveless base t, long sleeve thermal t, long sleeve jersey and thin shell. This is, as I mentioned, my go anywhere anytime winter mountain biking wardrobe. I've worn this down to -20 f with no issues other than feet and hands. I was afraid that all of this would be overkill when temps are hovering around 30 degees but my current wussiness and the added wind chill of the road had me feeling pretty comfortable for the whole, whopping, 25 minute ride. I had planned on a grueling, near 1:30 ride (be still my endurance oriented heart) but waking up at 2 and not being able to get back to sleep had me dreading crawling off the couch at 5(the time I'd need to head out in order to hit that tantilizingly long ride time before work) so the boring commute would have to do. That'll do pig, that'll do.

I even busted out the balaclava. I just like to say balaclava!

Pearl Izumi booties that even though they're size XL still don't fit my shoes and can't be zipped up.

My "new to me" Ergon BD2. I'm loving this pack right now. More on that to come.