Thursday, October 18, 2012

Controlled Drowning

No, I'm not dead.  The lack of posting is a direct result of being ballz deep in work.  10-12 hour days are not conducive to coherent babble.  Plus, on my list of priorities, I prefer to annoy my actual before my virtual (you hosebags) family first.  Sorry, sometimes finishing second is a good thing because it means there's no pressure to perform the next time.  Ummm, there's a sex joke there for sure but any sex joke that involves me finishing second is so far from reality that I fear the internet fact checking machine would be on me in no time.

I have yet to try riding the trainer again but all is not lost.  I have taken up competitive swimming (if the sport is being the worst/slowest swimmer in the pool) to help get back into shape as well as improve my hip's mobility without stressing it too much. Things started out very grim since I don't know how to swim with proper technique but after a few non-starters that had me stopping and spluttering for air half way down the pool (say ba-buy ego!) I've finally started to get the hang of it.  I still can't do more than one length at a time but at least I'm not gulping water every three strokes like my earlier attempts.

Speaking of the hip.  The x-rays are still not showing much improvement BUT I am feeling a shit ton better so the doc has allowed me to start doing some crutch free walking.  Joy!  I still use the crutch  out in public (so I don't have to explain the weird limp) and when I have to cover long distances but at the office and at hope I'm now crutch free.  It may sound weird but being able to carry things in both hands is quite, ahem, stimulating.  Get it?  Both hands?  Stimulating?  You guys are slow this morning...

Giant penis jokes aside, I'm feeling pretty good about my recovery.  I still don't know for certain if it's healing properly so a fake hip is still a possibility but I'm feeling better faster than I expected so I'll take that as good news.  In fact, the doc said that if all continues as it is, I could be riding (tentatively in another month!).  Time to get the fat bike put back together so when the day comes, I'll have a slow and steady steed ready to rock.   

Monday, October 08, 2012

Punkin Festival 

The Pumpkin Festival in Damariscotta, about the only place that you can see huge decorated pumpkins, hollowed out pumpkins used as boats for racing, pumpkin catapults and, AND watch a 1000lb pumpkin crush a car. Pretty boring stuff really...

600+ lb freaky bunny?  totally normal

 pumpkin made into a candy apple

Saw this beaut as well.  A bike with a two stroke engine.  Saw it in action later and laughed at the absurdity as he "drove" it sputtering and stinking DOWNHILL through town where a normal bike can easily keep up and pass cars anyway.  I'm sure there must be some place in the world for a bike like this but I'm not sure where it is.  Don't want to sweat too much on your way to work but don't mind smelling like a chain saw exploded in your lap?  This is the bike for you.

And finally, some transplanted New York carney action.  Enjoy.

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Sometimes Art Makes You Sad 

 Art can elicit many emotions.  Sadness being one.  Observe:

  click on the image to get the full effect

Brynna's drawing makes me sad for a couple of reasons.  One, she can't spell worst for shit.  Two, she obviously realized that night that she did something very wrong (we don't often send her to her room) but had no control over her emotions and only came to terms with it when she was in her room by herself.

BUT, art can make you happy.  I, for one, am impressed with how well she represented herself going upstairs in a simple 2-d drawing.  Take a look at the photo below to help you understand.  Looking straight on, our stairs look almost exactly like what she drew.

Then, if you study the drawing more closely you can see that she was obviously wearing a stripped skirt and flowered skirt that night (not all that uncommon).  Of course, I'm going to have to ask her about the vampire fangs and creepy insect leg.  Just to be safe, I've got an exorcist on speed dial...

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

A Cripple's Musings

There are a couple of silver linings to my injury.  One, I've spent more time with the fam since I got hurt.  Much of that time was drug addled but, since getting off the hooch, things have been much better and I've enjoyed the added family time.

who wouldn't want more of this?

or this?

The other good news is that I have been absolutely buried under a metric shit ton of work for the last two months so, even if I were allowed to ride, very little would have happened anyway and not riding because of work on a regular basis pisses me off.  That's sort of a back assed silver lining but I'll take it.

On the rare moments when my mind gets to wander, I wonder when I'll be able to ride again (surprise!) and what the best form will be.  I'm hoping to be able to do some sort of riding this winter.  I'm certain I'll be spending a fair amount of time on the indoor trainer and probably in spin classes but riding indoors wears my patience down to a nub so I'm sure I'll be craving some outdoor action.  To that end, I expect to pick up a cheap ass set of xc skis at Plat It Again Sports to do some back country excursions around the ranch.  But xc skiing is a poor excuse for riding (I know, I know, it's totally awesome but it's not riding) so when I saw these, my heart got pounding:

studded snow bike tires
What could be more perfect than a studded snow bike tire in my condition?  Tons of cushion and grip for snowmobile trail riding with little chance of falling (and breaking a hip!) on unexpected ice, extra stability for occasional road jaunts and improved mental stability for me.  Lord knows I've been holding my shit together pretty well so far but at some point I'm going to become an unbearable ass (I'm generally a bearable ass).