Imagine

Imagine if you will, it's a gloomy night. It's been raining like crazy with occasional claps of thunder. The rain came after dusk so I assumed that the chickens had already retreated to their coop. Before bed, I glance out the front door and see the six chickens huddled against the side of the house, terrified and trying to stay dry. I'm only in my boxers and it's raining like a mother but I decide to forgo a coat and just slip on some well worn crocs instead and run outside to bring them in. I catch the first chicken, clutching her carefully so I don't harm her and head down the gravel hill towards the back of the house and the coop. Before I know it, my gripless crocs were sliding in the mud. My actions couldn't have been more perfect if they were in a movie. Both feet went out from under me as I tossed the chicken in the air and landed squarely on my right ass cheek in the mud. There was no time to waste though and I completed my task and got inside to survey the damage:

why, yes, those ARE martini glasses.  I'm 100% high class.

Stupid chickens.