Tuesday, April 13, 2010

How the Big Dogs Roll

We've all known for years how bad ass I am. There's really no room for debate on that one. But until today, I've always had to rely on the popular vote. The feeling from the masses. But now, now I have it in writing from the great and all knowing USCF that I am, indeed, the shit.

Dear Rick Nelson,

The following request to change your USCF category has been approved and processed by USA Cycling:
chiddong - 2010-04-12 8:03
Member: Rick Nelson
License: Road Racer
Request to change category from Cat 5 to Cat 4
That's right ladies and gentlemen! It is official. I've been promoted from the lowly ranks of mountain bike shoe wearing, underwear under chamois sporting, can't ride in a straight line cat 5 racers all the way up to the glamorous ranks of the still mountain bike shoe wearing but no underwear wearing of the cat 4's. Can they ride in a straight line? Well, I'm noW a cat 4 and I really can't so I'm guessing no, no they can't ride in a straight line.

Lucky for me, the USCF didn't require me to provide a race resume for the upgrade like they typically do. Instead I basically said "yeah, I've done a bunch of races in the past. I can't remember exactly what they were but I feel like I should be in the cat 4's so that I can race the SIP crit series in the A race instead of the lowly B race. Please help." No shitting, that is basically what I wrote (with a little of the kissy, kissy stuff left out) and they accepted it. Obviously they had heard about what hot shit I am as well.

So now, I'm free and clear to race in the A race at the Scarborough training crits. The same races I've been competing in on and off for three years in the A class. Oh well, it was a lot of work for probably only three races that I'll be able to make but how cool am I to be able to say I'm cat 4 now? Yeah, super cool.

Oh yeah, and lets just ignore the fact that the request was processed by "chiddong". That's a WHOLE other story.

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