Butt floss

I’m sure you’ve heard the term “butt floss”.  It refers to a woman’s g-string essentially flossing her crackasoreass.  The other night though, we witnessed the beginnings of a new meaning.  The whole Dam fam was at home Sunday night and I was flossing the ole pearly whites while Marcy was attempting to show B how to solve a quadratic equation.  Unfortunately, Marcy just isn’t that bright so she asked for my help.  Sensing the urgency of the situation, I carefully set the floss down on a magazine on the coffee table to be disposed of afterwards.  As I was explaining that a quadratic equation is a second-order polynomial equation, Chance snuck in and ate the mint flavored floss.  I guess I can’t blame him, ever since being put on his new diet he has willingly (eagerly even) eaten anything that even remotely resembles food.  Unfortunately though, he’s going to have to suffer the consequences as he “passes” the floss in a day or two.  My only hope is that it is contained in a single, umm, dook or else he may end up with a second, slightly stinkier tail.

In other, less disgusting news, this morning’s commute was a balmy 12 degrees.  Thankfully, this time I was prepared and had dressed properly so it was a surprisingly nice ride with the exception of my eyeballs freezing solid on the downhills.  Note to self, wear glasses next time.