Heyaa! Mule, heyaa!

I got off track in my last post. It seems that I suffer from what the medical profession likes to call ADD, the pharmaceutical companies like to call CA-CHING! and lazy parents in the US like to call "it's not my fault he's hyperactive and doesn't listen to anything I say. Here honey have another bowl of sugar coated chocolate caffeine bombs." What I like to call it is; I have a shit ton to do all of the time so everything seems to be done half assed. Not on purpose, of course, it's just that I'll start something, remember three other things I need to do and not get back to the first something. Take last night for example, the DamFam had all just gotten home, and we were going about our evening routines. I was picking up and putting away the loads of crap around the house while Marcy was cooking dinner. I noticed that the meager, temporary, counter space that we have in the kitchen was filling up so I offered my help to Marcy, which she accepted. I helped her for roughly 2.8 seconds before I noticed a pair of pants (folded at least) in the dining room that needed to be taken care of so off I went, totally forgetting my initial endeavor until I walked back by the kitchen, saw Marcy glancing at the counter, nodding her head and grunting all in unison. Woops.

So, with that in mind, my post the other day was supposed to be about the fact that a snow storm of all things knocked me out of my rut of lazy-assness. First, it required me to get out and do a bunch of shoveling. Not exactly the best example of how to have a good time but it is a good workout and it got me thinking about snowshoeing which we did and I also got to do a bunch of this:

Pulling your kid around in fluffy snow can be a pretty good workout, especially if any hills are involved. All of that over the weekend helped me get my mojo back and as a result I've finally started getting up to exercise in the mornings again. One jog and three bike commutes later and I think I'm on my way.

Reset

It turns out that it's harder to get your groove back than I originally realized. A few weeks of sloth (and a sweet new first person shooter Wii game) had made it hard for me to drum up the motivation to do anything active. Lucky for me, the Bath gang was heading out for a ride on New Year's Eve just as the weekend's snowstorm was rolling into town. I took the opportunity to get what might be the final single track ride for the next 3-4 months(unless Hill Junkie and I can hook up on the cape this winter). Four of us headed out only a half hour late (or right on schedule if you're going by Channing Time) just as the first flurries were starting. We were greeted with mostly bare trails at the start of the ride and somewhere between 2 & 3 inches of fresh new fluff by rides end. It was a great way to send of the old year.



Then, on Sunday, after I got warmed up by shoveling 16" of fresh snow I was psyched to get out for the year's first snow shoe adventure with the fam. It would be Brynna's first time on her own snowshoes. If you're at all interested, you can read a bit more here.

Hookey

I "accidentally" left work a bit early yesterday to squeeze a ride in with my buddy Kev. We were supposed to ride at lunch up in my neck of the woods but, as I mentioned yesterday, the wanker didn't bring his bike. Unfortunately for me, a ride was already in my head and there was no getting it out so a new plan was hatched which involved riding near his place. His ride window as under an hour so I decided to hit Bradbury for an hour beforehand to make the trip worth it. It was butt frickin cold but it was nice to be in the saddle again after a couple of weeks off.

singletrack in Bradbury

post Bradbury with me sportin the hat marcy knit for me for x-mas.

look, another person!

Kev's made the jump into rigid ss'ing on some of his rides this year. I like to take credit for that even if it's not true.

How Ricky Got His Groove Back

Something strange happened over the holidays (and no, I'm not talking about the cross dressing here and here). No, what I'm talking about is the mojo to blog AND ride. I've hardly done either in the last couple of weeks. When I'm riding on a regular basis the blogging takes care of itself because of all the hijinks that I get myself involved in and the ensuing hilarity rivals some of the best british comedy. Sure, us yanks don't understand any of it what with the weird language they speak over there and everything, but it's still pure brilliance as I'm sure you'll all attest.

My major issue is that I've come to L-O-V-E sleep. This isn't a totally new concept for me but my inability to deny myself the luxury is. Lately, when the alarm goes off at 5am for either my morning commute or morning jog, I've given it the finger, rolled over and slept for another couple of hours. The good news is that I'm actually well rested for once, the bad news is that I feel like a tub of cream cheese.

So, the big question is, how do I get my groove back? I have neither the budget nor the time to go on a girls only trip to some sunny place to hit on hunky guys (I'm guessing that's what Stella did since I NEVER saw the movie. really) and, as far as I know, there are no outdoor film festivals coming our way to stoke the fires either. What to do, what to do?

Plan A was for my buddy Kevin and I to ride at lunch today. It was his suggestion so I ASSUMED he'd follow through so, this morning, instead of trying to get up to commute I drove in with the bike in tow only to see Kevin's Tacoma with no frickin bike! Bastada. Fargin ice hole. So the question is, can I get my lazy ass out for a lunch time spin or do I try for an after work jaunt after the temps have dropped approximately 182 1/2 degrees? Only time will tell.


Maybe some oysters on the half shell that I got from Satan Clause will help. Wait a minute, was this more a present for me or Marcy? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Get Well Mike

I was totally bummed today to read on the EFTA website that Mike Patrick has had a serious setback in his battle with brain cancer. Apparently, this past Monday he had a brain hemorrhage and is currently in the hospital fighting like only Mike can.

We're pulling for you Mike. Get well!

You can send well wishes directly to Mike at: bikemike1165@hotmail.com

or via snail mail to:

Mike Patrick
c/o Joan Cousins
60 Broad St.
APt 2h
Milford, CT 06460

Happy Holidays

Happy holidays everyone. As my gift to you all, I'm sparing you the pain involved with reading one of my posts. See, there is something to be thankful for this time of year!

Brief

Today's post needs to be brief. I didn't ride a lick this weekend but that doesn't mean that nothing interesting happened so, for today, I'll be giving you the cliff notes version and hopefully later in the week I'll be able to go in more detail.

Friday night was my company's Christmas party. Most christmas parties are pretty lame but not ours. Imagine 150 people, most of whom are in the construction biz, in an opera house with a bar and 500 free jello shots. Now imagine me doing severely stupid things just to make people uncomfortable. What type of things you might ask? Well, how about grinding with dudes or licking the bare shoulder of one of my female co-workers? AND THEN things really got interesting when we closed the party down and went to one of the bars downtown where I ended up in the dress and tights of one of my other female coworkers and had guys buying me shots all night. None of them got lucky though.

Saturday night, while nursing a mighty hangover, was a ping-pong-a-palooza at the ranch with much merriment and drinking. I could only manage to gag down one beer but most of my friends got lit.

Much more to come.

-15

This morning, after waking up at 3 and being unable to get back to sleep, I made the awesome decision to not fight it and instead gear up and mount the ss steed so that I could grab a couple extra hours of quality time with my office chair. So, I get downstairs and look at the thermometer and, whoa!, it reads a whopping 8 degrees f and the wind is whistling like a mofo out there. No problem, I'm not a pus. Instead of wearing knee warmers like I do down to about 20 degrees, I busted out the tights, put on my thin balaclava (it wasn't cold enough for the fleece one), grabbed my sweet Outdoor Research mitten shells and headed out the door with the rest of my typical winter garb (undi shirt, long sleeve craft thermal, long sleeve jersey and summer weight coat). I'm so manly I'm growing hair on my eyeballs as we speak.

thin balaclava. I have to admit, my ample forehead did get a bit cold on the descents.

now you see mitten

now you don't

Where did the -15 come from? Well, I figured that at 8 degrees and 20-25 mph speeds as I was heading down some of the hills, I easily hit the negative teens with wind chill figured in.

Some Days You Have It

and some days you don't. This morning I most definitely didn't have it. Maybe it was the last second decision to commute by bike, maybe it was the light rain and fog, maybe it was the beer I drank before bed or maybe it was the 10 pounds of food in my now favorite pack, the Ergon BD2 or maybe it was just because my out of shapeness has finally caught up to me and a week off the bike had given me dead legs. One of those things or all of them, I'm not quite sure but I can tell you that this morning's ride sucked donkey d*ck! BUT, and that is a capital but, it was a ride and the only way to get the riding legs back is to ride so ride I did. (four rides in one sentence, now if I can figure out how to get four rides in one week I'd be golden)

Maine is in the tweener season right now. Not quite cold enough for everything to be frozen on the trails but damp enough that any ride leaves you feeling guilty about trail damage. To top that off, there is just enough mushy, slurpee making snow on that ground that riding is pretty much impossible anyway. Sunday I had to abort a trail ride after less than 20 minutes because I was doing more walking than riding and ended up doing a bit of trail reconnaissance around the house instead. I'm starting to get a feel for the spaghetti trail system for next summer so it wasn't all bad. The good news is that we've had a fair amount of rain recently and tomorrow starts a cold snap with temps never climbing out of the 20's so if all goes as planned, the snow and trails will be frozen solid so all I'll need for a ripping good time is to mount the studded tires and an extra layer of clothing.

Sorry

I was totally bummed that I had to miss the Ice Weasels Cometh CX race on Saturday but something came up so that I didn't feel right about going. Marcy tried to kick me out the door early Saturday morning but I wasn't having it. For once in my life, I made the non-selfish choice and chose family over racing. I know, I know, I'll try to not let it happen too often. Gotta keep things in check.

It actually would have been an easier chose to bail on the race if I hadn't let my plans out of the bag. I figured that everyone who knew of what I had in mind would figure that I just wussed out because of the cool temps. 35 degrees? I laugh in your general direction!

Saturday, Marcy's friend Jen came by and they got to talking about my cx outfit and what a bummer it was that I didn't get to show it off so I figured a little runway show was in order.

Warning: You are about too see male cross dressing so if you question your sexuality these might not be the pictures for you because I look H-O-T hot in a mini.

Let Me See That Thong

Some More

After yesterday's spectacularly successful post (read by close to five people) I figured I'd drop another hint about how I'm going to "bring my C game" this weekend. I know people are on the edge of their seats to see just what that redneck from up in the willywacks will pull this weekend. Well, here's a little clue:



Sadly, I'm not nearly as tanned nor do I have any calf high white socks but me thinks that thong looks mighty comfortable and would help keep the chamois induced saddles sores at bay.

You Decide

I'm in a quandary. I picked up two lovely skirts this afternoon for a special occasion coming up this weekend but I can't decide which to wear. The green skirt has nice clean lines, accents my tight bottom and would look great with knee high boots but the white skirt brings out my inner school girl and just begs to be paired with mary janes and pigtails.

Please help! This event is very special for me and I want it to be P-E-R-F-E-C-T!

Now I've Done It

Well, I've gone and done it now. After a week of nearly 6 whopping hours on the bike, I've decided to toe the line at a cross race for the first time in 6 or 7 years. Back when I first got a taste of cross I was still a newb to racing mountain bikes and did the cross races (two of them) on a borrowed bike and raced in the cat 5 class. Despite being in the lowest class at the time, I still got smoked but, in a way, it was fun. Unfortunately, I'm not really built for cross. I can go fast over a long period of time pretty naturally but the shorter the race gets the tougher it is for me. Even most xc races are a bit short for my taste. Over two hours and I'm golden, but drop to below 1.5 hours and I'm not exactly lighting the world on fire.

As a result, I've brushed off repeated attempts by cross heads, like our team manager, to get me into cross. Sure, it seems like it might be fun to have another go at it but after a typical full season of mountain bike racing how could I subject my family to another few months of constant weekend travel and shivering while standing in kankle deep mud?

Thankfully, this isn't a typical year and I didn't do what I consider a full race calendar and have been itching to do something else. The competitive little boy in me NEEDS it! So, yesterday, I signed up for The Ice Weasels Cometh. It's put on by some blogging buddies (who probably won't recognize me when I get there) and looks to be a good time. Laid back feel, smallish fields (for a cross race at least) and free beer should make for a good time even if I do suck it hard while racing.I still don't have a cross bike but thankfully my bro is letting me use his van dessel country road bob ss sorta cross-ish bike for the day. We've traded the bike back and forth like a strung out crack whore over the years and I still regret giving it back to rus a couple of years ago. There is something magic about the bike. It's a nasty green, is heavy as hell and doesn't have a particularly lust worthy build but it has SOMETHING. Maybe it's the curvy down tube or I just enjoy riding something called bob. Who knows really but the magic is there and I look forward to bob and I getting reacquainted this weekend.

Monday Sweet Monday

Yay! Another weekend where I successfully avoided riding my bike. Success! Kidding, of course, I'm not too pumped about that fact but I am pumped that we finished the cedar shingling on the house yesterday so that's one more check mark in the done column. Only about 20 to go. We actually would have gotten the rest of the siding done as well but on Saturday, instead of siding we went to see The Flying Santa with Brynna. The original Flying Santa was a crazy bastage who flew a float plane from lighthouse to lighthouse in the late 20's delivering gifts to the lighthouse keepers as a way of saying thanks. Fast forward almost 100 years and most lighthouses are automated so Santa flies from lighthouse to lighthouse bringing joy to the lives of America's advantaged youths. It was heartwarming and fun to see Santa fly in inside of a million dollar helicopter.

Did that sound negative? It really wasn't supposed to be. It's a fun tradition in the area that I'm sure we'll enjoy for quite a few more years.

This morning I started the week off right with a fun run in the snow followed by a session of pilates. Gotta look good in my bikini when we go to Vegas at the end of January.

It Finally Happened

I knew that at some point it was bound to happen. Realistically, my days of unabomber style riding seclusion had to come to an end eventually and last night it finally did. I found myself, for the first time in a couple of months I think, riding my bike in the woods with other highly developed upright walkers and Channing too. On Thursday morning, we got roughly 2" of rain that left the trails severely saturated and several hub deep puddles but there were only a few actual muddy sections and, overall, I think everyone had a good time. I hope they did at least because I so desperately crave the companionship. Will someone be my friend? Pretty please? We ended up with a bit over 2 hours of ride time on a very curvy loop.

Afterward, to try to trick everyone into liking me, I made sure to have plenty of beer, guacamole and burgers on hand post ride. Sort of like giving kids candy to earn their trust and affection, mountain bikers respond quite positively to beer and food.

The general consensus was that the trails were pretty darn fun (despite my constant apologies-somebody seems pretty desperate huh?) and that with a bit of raking they would be a blast. Now if I can just lure them out to help me rake it all. More beer will probably do the trick I think.

Me "patiently" waiting for everyone to show up. My party dress is on and I'm ready to go people!

This technically wasn't from last night's ride (it was actually Wednesday's reconnaissance ride) but it was a place we stopped to contemplate the beautiful night and confess our innermost fears. FYI, KillBill is afraid of the dark and more specifically, dark basements. What a little girl.

Aliens!

It's a record

I've now ridden my bike three whole days in a row. Essentially hitting my total for the previous three weeks AND I have a ride planned for tomorrow night with actual living people types. I'm so excited!

That is all.

First Sub Ride

This morning's commute marked my first sub freezing ride of the winter season. I usually wear less cold weather clothing than most people but I seem to be a bit thin blooded so far this fall and have required more clothing than usual so, just to be safe, I wore my "mountain bike in any temperature" get up for the ride this morning. Basically it consists of, bibs, wool socks, thermal tights, sleeveless base t, long sleeve thermal t, long sleeve jersey and thin shell. This is, as I mentioned, my go anywhere anytime winter mountain biking wardrobe. I've worn this down to -20 f with no issues other than feet and hands. I was afraid that all of this would be overkill when temps are hovering around 30 degees but my current wussiness and the added wind chill of the road had me feeling pretty comfortable for the whole, whopping, 25 minute ride. I had planned on a grueling, near 1:30 ride (be still my endurance oriented heart) but waking up at 2 and not being able to get back to sleep had me dreading crawling off the couch at 5(the time I'd need to head out in order to hit that tantilizingly long ride time before work) so the boring commute would have to do. That'll do pig, that'll do.

I even busted out the balaclava. I just like to say balaclava!

Pearl Izumi booties that even though they're size XL still don't fit my shoes and can't be zipped up.

My "new to me" Ergon BD2. I'm loving this pack right now. More on that to come.

It's Monday

and I'm actually blogging. That can only mean one of two things. One, I had an interesting weekend or two, I rode/ran this morning. I certainly didn't have an interesting weekend (unless you consider hitting three places for Thanksgiving and doing a ton of shingling on the house interesting. eh - no.) so that leaves ride/run. I haven't ridden in over a week again but I did haul my sorry ass out for a nice early a.m. run this morning followed by stretching/pilates/push-ups. Not much to write about of course but it did feel good to start the week off right after a week of sloth.

Tonight will include an exciting commute home so look for another post tomorrow with all of the delicious details.

Over the course of the last couple of years I've been working on getting my parents and youngest brother into riding and based on their toeing the line at this past summer's Bradbury 12, I'd say that I'm making some progress. It took some convincing to get them to race but I do believe that my brother, at least, has (somewhat) caught the bug. Not only has Darren committed to next year's 12 hr race but has also committed to some weird golf tournament/100 mile ride for next summer. I'm not sure in what bizarro world golf and riding goes together but I won't bitch no matter how weird the combo is because anything that gets more people active is a good thing in my book.

Blimey.

I didn't ride this weekend. Shocker, I know. I did kick some cedar shingle ass though and have some great progress to show for it on the house.

Because of my (still present) inability to sleep through the night, I find myself at work super early this morning (not much on regular tv at 3:15 am) but that means that because of some clever planning (and a bit of laziness last night. don't worry, I won't bore you with an explanation) I'm going to be able to ride my road bike home this morning, in the daylight and sun hopefully, so that I can get cleaned up to go to a doctor's appointment.

Riding while Mr. Sunbeam is in the sky should be an interesting change. Although, I have to admit, now that I have the Dinotte lights, riding in the dark is hardly riding in the dark but at the same time you have to appreciate the sun's radiant warmth. I don't think I say it enough but I like the sun. What I don't like is eastern standard time when you live in Maine. Dark before 4:30 (in Eastport, one of the furtherest easternpointyest places in maine, I hear it's dark by 12:15. at least)? Are you frickin' kidding me? My buddy who splits time between here and Pittsburgh (argh! can you imagine having the Steelers as your home team?) has the sun until closer to 6:30. You know that I also like (or at least think I would)? Atlantic Standard Time. Maine juts out into the Atlantic so it makes sense to me and then we could skip daylight savings time in the summer so I don't have to go about resetting all of my clocks (both internal and external) twice a year. More light and time savings! I'm a genius.

Riding Makes it Right

I've noticed something recently and wonder if you have too. It shouldn't come as a shock I guess but since I started running and have gotten a couple of rides in, I have more of an urge to blog. For a few weeks there I was so apathetic that I wasn't sure if I even wanted to do this any more and was posting more out of a sense of obligation (for some stupid reason since I'm sure that the four people who read this would somehow, eventually, find a way to carry on with life without semi-daily installments from me) then a real desire to do so. But give me some physical activity and shazam! I'm all over my mediocre blogging like brown on rice (white rice is the devil! unless it's with sushi and then it's dreamy).

This week I got in two commutes and three pretty decent trail runs and all of a sudden all is right with the world and I've done, count them, four only mildly making you want to stick a pencil through your eye and rummage around in your brain to find the memory of reading it so that you can kill that portion of your brain so you can pretend you didn't just waste 3 1/2 precious minutes of your day blog posts.



You can thank me later.

Look Ma, No Car!

Well, I went and did it. Thanks to a very gracious wife, I was given the green light to ride this morning (despite it being Marcy's day, I guess she's sick and tired of my incessant whining all day long!) so ride I did. It was a short ride, just seven miles by road, but I'll take it. After three weeks off, the legs weren't feeling all that chipper anyway. I would have liked to have done the short mtb commute which only takes me an additional 1/2 hour but sunrise is roughly when I'd be getting out of the woods and I didn't want to get blasted by any Death Eaters, I mean hunters in the pre-dawn light so I decided to play it safe. One might ask, how could someone possibly shoot at a deer that apparently has 1200 lumen headlights? One could ask but one would be stupid to do so. Who are we to deny a precious little deer the ability to see at night? I mean, really, I've seen four year olds with their own cell phones so deer with headlights can't be all that far down the road. Plus, we're talking about rednecks with guns. You can never be too careful with that combination and, remember, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions!

Smiling and on the bike. Good times!

In this pic you can (not so clearly) see that I've zip tied Chance's tags to the bar of the El Mariachi. I did this for a couple of reasons. The first of which was that I figured the constant tinkle, tink, tinkleeydoo of the tags would provide a bit more safety for me while riding in the woods during hunting season. When you ride a single speed you tend to be pretty stealth and a bike crunching through the leaves can sound an awful lot like two or three deer skittering about (I know this because I used to hunt when I was a kid). Most deer don't wear dog collars so I figure if a hunter hears the tinkling they'll think that either a dog or someone's pet deer is coming. Safety first. The other reason I put them there is so that I can get sad every time I hop on my bike. Nothing like a constant reminder that you recently had to put your best bud down.

The Ugly Truth

Remember waaaaayyyyyy back to yesterday when I said that trail running is just like mountain biking except for the fun and endorphins? Well, today, after laying awake in bed from 3:20 until 4:30 I decided to get up and do it all over again. The trails were a bit drier today now that the 3" of rain we got over the weekend has had a chance to drain and as I ran I found myself thinking "huh, I don't feel nearly as crappy as last week. Maybe I'm getting into this. You know what? I'm not hating this right now!". So, there you go. I wouldn't say that was exactly a glowing endorsement for trail running on my part but it's a start. Maybe some day in the not so distant future fun AND endorphins will become part of the equation.

The first step in that will be for me to find a way to loop the trail back to the house without hitting the pavement since a large percentage of me not hating the run this morning was because I did an out and back and never touched pavement. If you've been mountain biking long you know that the only thing worse than no riding at all is an out and back ride. I'm not sure why but out and backs just seem stupid and unfun thus I avoid them like the plague and that feeling crept into my bulbous melon as I was out and backing this morning. Time to get to work on a loop.

Oh god, I just realized that I'm writing about creating RUNNING trails. Quick! Get a pedal wrench and bust my kneecaps before I do something stupid like start training for triathlons! Oh wait, I've got an off road tri planned for next summer. Never mind.

Dusty

Both my riding legs and my photography skills are about as dusty as they can get judging by the photos below and the flabbiness in my gut. I've lost the ability to count or estimate time but I'm guessing that I've been off of the bike for almost two weeks straight at this point. It's been so long that the other day I thought it would be a good idea to go down to the basement and say hi to my long lost friends.

Once down stairs the first bike I see is poor selma who has been on the bike stand for a good 4+ weeks totally untouched and unloved. I put her up there with intentions to bleed her rear brake since it has gone caput and requires 5+ minutes for pumping to get firm, wait, we're still talking about my brakes here aren't we? Yeah? OK, good. Once on the stand though, I remembered that I'm a ham fisted meat head with a wrench and would surely do more harm than good so I've decided to take it to the shop instead. One of these days.

Next up is the El Mariachi leaning provocatively again the metal brake (it's used for braking metal you silly goose). The El sees the most use this time of year so she's mounted up with my lights, GPS unit and a bottle since I always seem to forget water this time of year. Three week old water bottle water is just delish!

Lastly (I'm not showing the Dos or the Carver since they are bare frames) are Marcy's and my road bikes. We've totally given up on them by this time of year because of the typical crappy conditions so they're hung in the mechanical room. At some point this sleek stallion will be called into action this winter when a multi-hour road assault is planned but, for now, they're eye candy for the wood boiler at the opposite end of the room.

Because of my lack of time recently I've gone ahead and done something drastic and started running again. I've found it hard to motivate myself to get up early enough to go for a run most mornings but have gotten out four times in the last couple of weeks. At first my shins were killing me but I realized that if I went trail running instead of on the road they don't seem to hurt so I guess I'm a trail runner now. Trail running is amazingly like mountain biking except for the fun and endorphins I get from riding but at least trail running does happen on trails in the woods. Of course, being a bike geek above all else, I don't have proper running attire or equipment so I look like a complete goober out there. I guess that it's good that I run under the cover of darkness.

Neti Pot how-to

As you probably remember (from my incessant bitching here and on facebook) I recently had a cold and then subsequent sinus infection. The doc had me dosed up on antibiotics for the infection and also told me to use a saline mist in my nose a couple of times a day to help clear the sinuses of their mucusy gunk. Well, the saline sucked a big d*ck and didn't seem to do anything except make my eyes water. Meanwhile, everyone around me kept saying "you should get a neti pot", "get a neti pot", "a neti pot will get you cleaned out", "I enjoy having sex with farm animals" and since having sex with farm animals has never helped me before (no matter how hard I tried) I reluctantly ponied up the $14.95 to have the privilege to pour water in my nose.

For those of you who don't know, a Neti Pot is a plastic tea pot looking thing that you fill with water and a magic potion that you then dump into your nose to flush the sinuses. Good fun.

So, without further ado, here is a step by step guide to using the Neti Pot

Step one: fill pot with water and magic potion.

Step two: place pot on sink for photo op.Step three: position toilet paper in a convenient location. I chose the door handle immediately adjacent to the sink.
Step four: jamb pot up nose, tilt head slightly and commence pouring. Notice the water enters one nostril, goes through the sinuses and then exits the other nostril.

Step five: some of the magic potion will drain to the back of your throat. Try not to imagine what the salty brine water tastes like.

Step six: grasp for toilet paper as your schnoz drips water and snot everywhere.

Step seven: blow your nose two, three or four times.

Step eight: repeat with other nostril.

Step nine: rejoice in cleansed airways.

here is the after pic. notice the moist eyes? while this isn't an uncomfortable procedure it sure does make my eyes red and moist.

Hello Folks

So much riding to write about I hardly know where to start! Oh wait, sorry. For a second there I thought I was someone else. Someone who actually rides his bike. No real complaints though. Sure, I had a stinkin cold for a week straight and once that cleared up I got a nasty sinus infection (really, the cold was the source of the infection) but that all seems to be mostly cleared up by now and even though I haven't touched my bike throughout all of this B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L weather I'm still (somehow) in good spirits. Why, you ask? Well, because we've finally, miraculously, the roof is done and we've started shingling the second floor of the house. Yee frickin hah!

Pushin 2 Bills

I finally decided to head to the doc's office yesterday since my week old cold apparently had turned into a nasty sinus infection just for shits and giggles. Colds I can deal with and not be too much of a cry baby but give me a sinus headache and I quickly cry uncle. Plus, I don't think that they're able to clear up on their own once it becomes bacterial anyway. Of course, going to the doctor wasn't necessarily going to be an easy task for me since it's been at least five years since I've gone to see a doctor (not including emergency room visits for weekend stupidities) and my primary care doc has vanished from the face of the earth. Thankfully, about three years ago, I had dropped an application off at a new place near our house and they actually agreed to see me. Yay.

So now I'm dosed up on antibiotics and the doc took pity and put me on a "sleep aid" to help calm down the crazy in my head at night so that I can start sleeping again. It's only short term until I get through the stress that is house construction but it will be a welcome relief when it finally kicks in in about a week.

One scary part of the doc's visit was when they weighed me when I first got there. I've suspected that I've gained weight through the summer and fall given my lack of riding and excess of eating and drinking but, thankfully, the battery in our scale has been kaput for quite some time so I hadn't had to accept reality. Until yesterday. I dutifully stepped onto the scale and watched as the digital readout rocketed up to 199.7 lbs. Yikes! Thank god I had cut weight a couple of times in the morning or else I would have broken the 200 barrier. Hopefully, having the "soon to be fat" warning will kick my butt into gear a bit.

Good Lord

Am I ever a boring writer. Last monday, while commuting to work, I got to thinking about how I got into racing bikes and came up with what I thought was a great post topic that would surely propel me to the top of the bike blog charts. Instant fame and fortune! Unfortunately, Racin Rick is where good ideas go to die. Saturday night I sat down to put my ideas to interweb paper and after writing what was possibly the most boring RR post ever (and that's saying a lot!) I decided to pull the plug on the lengthy post and cut right to the chase. You know, sort of like skipping foreplay and getting right to the sex. What use is foreplay anyway if you're accidentally poking her in the eye (with your finger you dirty bastards!), kneeing her in the crotch (unless she likes it of course, some women are into that I hear) and generally messing things up. If you're game is that bad, you might as well get right to it so that there is less chance that you'll screw it up.

So here we go, no foreplay for you. The reason I got into racing bikes is because of golf. Sounds pretty weird doesn't it? But it makes sense. In college when I got into riding, my brother and I decided one summer to do the Sunday River xc race. This was in mtb racing's heyday when they actually advertised the race on the radio. My brother and I prepped the best we could (riding a few days a week) and headed to the race. Unfortunately, when we got there we were so freaked out by how "pro" everyone looked in the matching kits, shiny bikes and cool attitudes that we chickened out and just watched the race instead.

Fast forward a few years, I'm out of college, working my butt off and the local golf course decides to sponsor my father's race car and the sponsorship includes memberships for the family. Before I know it, I'm playing golf 3-4 times a week and riding maybe once a week. It was fun for a while but eventually I came to the realization that I could play golf when I'm old and fat (judging by the others on the course) so I'd better do something to motivate myself to ride more. The only way that I could think of was to join a shop's racing team since I knew that would provide enough (internal) pressure to get me off the course and on the bike. Well, as you can see, it worked and what initially started out as a way to motivate me to ride more and have a healthier lifestyle has turned into a full blown obsession worthy of serious time on a psychiatrists couch. Of course, compared to some of you crazies out there, I've only begun to scratch the surface!