Extreme! 

Phase one of Project Extreme Crutching is complete.  Next up?  Hucking some serious gnar.

Green Light

Went to see the surgeon yesterday.  No earth shattering good news but at least there wasn't any bad news either.  It's still too early to see if my hip is healing correctly (that could take another 3-4 weeks!) but since the pain is subsiding and my mobility is improving, the doc gave me the green light to start hitting the gym, pool and the trainer.  Basically anything that doesn't cause hip pain is fair game.  Good news for sure since I'm going bat shit crazy not being able to do anything physical except for crutching around everywhere which is surprisingly difficult, especially off road.

Come to think of it, my home trails are mighty lonely, maybe it's time to start a new sport, off road crutching.  EXTREME! and only about as dumb as off road unicycles...

Happier Days 

 A few days before I headed for Vermont on my fateful trip, Marcy and I found ourselves with the VERY RARE opportunity of being kid and work free at the same time giving us the opportunity to ride together. Something that only happens a few times of year. It was a beautiful day for me to show Marcy around some of the Bathers trails. It's a crying shame that they are only 20 minutes from our house yet she never rides there. Hopefully, this was the first of many.

Based on this pic, muscle mass isn't the only weight that I'm losing right now...

3 Down

It's now been 3 full weeks since I broke my hip and I'm fully engaged in the waiting game at this point.  Will the hip heal?  Will the bone die?  Will I go crazy as I watch one beautiful day after another pass by with me doing diddly squat? 

The good news is that the pain is very manageable at this point with just Tylenol so no more narcotics for me.  They didn't exactly make me feel good while I was taking them but I was terrified of getting hooked so I got off of those as soon as I could.  The bonus good news with that is I can now, officially, enjoy a frosty cold beverage again if the opportunity arises. And it arose this weekend.  3 times.

The other good news is that I think I'll be able to get into the gym soon.  I'm sure I won't be doing any hip related exercises (weight bearing at least) any time soon but if I'd like to stem the loss of my muscle mass.  At this point, three weeks in, I've already lost 9 lbs (which can partially be blamed on lack of beer consumption as well).  You'd think that I'd be happy to be losing weight but 9 lbs already is a bit much.  Look out gym rats, here I come!

Another Recycle

  Another Recycle

 yet another post from the days of yore.

my deepest apologies

I have been riddled with guilt since I published the "Mungo Baby" series of posts. Was I being too cruel? Can Brynna somehow sense that I'm poking fun at her? Does my butt look big in these jeans? It has gotten to the point that I can't go home and look at that cute little face and not feel the need to pluck my eyelashes as penance. I also fear that with the age that children become computer savvy these days that she may in fact have the opportunity to read these posts. According to my calculations Brynna will be online by the time that she's three months old. "that's absurd!" you say? Well if you consider how things are progressing with computers these days it doesn't seem so crazy. Examples: My grandmother learned to use the computer in her 70's (and when I say learned I mean that she was able to consistently lose all of her work because she didn't understand the concept of saving). My mom began using computers at work in her 30's. I started using computers in my late teens. (notice everybody is progressively getting younger?) I have nieces and nephews that were surfing by five. So it seems to me that it doesn't take any huge leap of faith to believe that the current crop of juves will be computer savy before they are done pooping in their pants. Just to be on the safe side, I've decided to write Brynna an apology letter. Here goes.


Dearest Brynn,

Daddio here. How are things? Chance and Grace are doing well. Joe gave me a wet willie so I gave him a wedgie. I'm writing this letter to let you know that I am very sorry for the way that I spoke of your bulbous melon. Its really not so much bulbous as it is gigantic. (hmmm, this doesn't sound like a very good apology. let me try a different tact) Your noggin may be huge but have you looked at daddy's head recently? When a hat says "One size fits all" in parenthesis below it says "(except for Rick's big fat grape)". Umbrellas fit my head better than most hats. What I'm trying to say is that having a big head isn't all that bad. Sure, when you're walking down the street perfect strangers will yell out "Hey, whats up kickball head?!" or "can you move over, you're blocking the sun". But they mean nothing by it and I think that they are just trying to make conversation.

Mommy is a little worried that the size of your head could be an indicator of a medical problem but I told her that there is nothing to be worried about. All us Nelson's look like walking ping pong paddles and we're all just fine. For example, when Darren was born his head was so huge that initially the doctor's told my mom that he was most likely mentally retarded. My mom protested the diagnosis and simply had to march me and Uncle Rusty into the room to prove her point. When you get to know Uncle Darren, you'll see that he's not retarded in the least. He's just a lovable goof, sort of like a big floppy eared dog. Everybody loves him but get a bit annoyed when he humps their legs.

So I hope this clears things up.

Love you sweetness.

Big Daddy

(p.s. something tells me that I'll be writing an apology to Uncle Darren next)

Recycling

Things haven't changed much recently so I have nothing to blog about (where are my SSUSA posts you might ask? maybe next week) so I'm going to recycle some of my favorite posts from my now defunct DAMNelson's blog which charted the first few years of Brynna's youth.  Rehash #1 will be useful for any man need to learn how to change diapers.  Enjoy.

Episode 1 of Ricky's Knee is actually a post from a couple of weeks ago titled "How to be a good dad". In it, I described (duh) how to be a good dad. I've decided that for Episode 2 I will elaborate on my first two rules of being a good dad. Changing diapers and getting poo on your fingers in the process. Actually, more specifically, how to check to see if a diaper needs to be changed without getting poo finger.

If, while holding your baby, you detect a hint of baby potpourri, there are a series of checks you can make to confirm the presence of dookie.

Step one: With thumb and finger grasp the bottom of the diaper and give er a squeeze. Did it feel like a tube of toothpaste? If so, go on to step 2. If not, you're probably in the clear because it was just a cute little baby fart. Baby farts are cute, daddy farts are not. Why is this? Discuss.

Step two: While facing the baby away from you and holding her under the arms, proceed to jamb your nose into the back of the diaper and take a giant wiff. Do you feel like passing out? If so, move on to step 3. If not, rejoice in the fact that you didn't just stick your nose mere fractions of an inch of baby butt vomit.

Step three: This is where things can go horribly wrong. Very carefully grasp the back of the diaper at the waist band, pull it out and peer down baby's plumbers crack. Be very, very careful not to grasp the inside of the waist band. I have made this mistake before and got the ole stink finger. Don't say I didn't warn you. If you have poo on your finger of if you were smart enough to simply see the poo go onto step 4.

Step four: Arguably the most important step takes a bit of finesse. In your most frantic voice, yell to your wife that you "think" baby needs a change but you just realized you forgot to check the headlight fluid in the car (the gullibility/intelligence of your wife will dictate how believable the story needs to be) and that you need to get to it immediately. If you successfully weezled your way out of changing the diaper, proceed to step 5. If you're stuck doing it yourself, you're on your own.

Step five: Sneak out to the garage where you secretly stashed a mini fridge stocked with beer. Pop open a beer while randomly clanging various objects around the garage to feign productivity. Enjoy the beer, you've earned it.

Lazy Days 

Marcy pointed out to me yesterday that I'm in a bit of this vid (doing push-ups at the end (gray baggy shorts with bibs hanging out)) so this will pass as today's post. Enjoy.
Watch more video of Dejay Birtch on cyclingdirt.org

An Explanation 

It occurred to me over the weekend that I didn't really explain my injury very well over the last two weeks.  Sure, I gave a brief description but I feel a better one is required.  I blame it on all of the pain meds.

A broken hip is a fairly common injury (who doesn't have a grandparent who broke a hip?) and generally heals pretty quickly and easily (assuming you don't have underlying health issues).  Unfortunately for me, I like to turn things up a notch and do things right so I had to fracture my femoral head in a unique way.  The normal direction of a hip fracture is helped by muscle movement with the muscles actually pulling the bone back together facilitating healing.  In some cases, this allows folks with broken hips to walk (tentatively) within a week or so.  Me?  I had to get creative and break my hip at a odd angle so that every time I use my leg, it pulls the bone apart.  This means 6-8 weeks of non-weight bearing.  Awesomeness.   Did I mention it's my right hip so I can't drive either?  Extra awesomeness!

To be honest, while what I described above sucks, the real suckiness revolves around my long term prognosis.  There are two possible "issues" that might crop up.  In the next few months, I'll know if the bone is going to heal properly or not.  Yes, that's right, because of the nature of the break, it may never heal which would require me to have a hip replacement late this fall (and then going through all this non-weight bearing nonsense again).  Secondly (and of most concern) is that even if my hip does heal, there is a chance that the bone will die within 24 months because of compromised blood flow again requiring a hip replacement.

That's a long time to think.

You may wonder why my surgeon didn't just do a hip replacement while they had a chance.  Good question.  The reason is that because of my age, if the hip does in fact heal properly, having my own hip is best for the long haul (fake hips have a life span as well as some limitations).

So that this post isn't all about doom and gloom (whoa is me!), I'll also grace you with this sweet video of my rocking a power buggie at Home Depot last week.  Drove the ladies wild!

Cringe Worthy 

Despite how crappy the weekend ended, the days leading up to the Hip-ocalypse were quite fun. Downright awesome actually. Arriving in Vermont early on Friday afternoon allowed me to meet up with Tyler (he who beat me at the carrabassett 50 last year) for a fun close to three hour tour of the trails around Stowe. Not how I would typically spend the day before a big race but I wasn't taking SS USA seriously anyway.  Instead, I was there to ride my bike and have fun so it was all good. After the ride, a dip in the Mad River was had and then beers and burgers at the Matterhorn during the registration party.

Saturday brought a very fun SS USA hosted by Bike29.  I've never before managed to have four beers during a race and still finish well and have fun.  That post will be coming shortly.  Firstly though, is the horrid interview I gave to ThomP  for the Cycling Dirt Page.  It makes me cringe to watch it so please be kind.  Remember, I'm very sensitive these days.  :)
Watch more video of 2012 SSUSA on thom.cyclingdirt.org

Shower Time 

The day last week that I left the hospital, I insisted on taking a shower since they had an almost handicap shower with rails and a chair available and I didn't know when I'd have another chance for a shower since our only shower currently resides on the second floor.

The first few days at home, I subsisted with wet washcloth and baby wipe wipedowns. It wasn't long though that we realized that something had to happen and soon; all night sweats and lots of couch time had given me a serious case of swamp ass as well as a general body funk.

Like the good, sexy nurse that she is, Marcy headed off to buy me a solar shower so I could get my suds on out on the front porch. Oh glory be was it delectable!

 had to keep the undies on because even though we live in the 

boonies, we have a 6 yr old in residence

 the ducks patiently waited their turns

the only thing that would make this pic sexier is if I had long 

flowing hair to toss around instead of a nipple beard.

Hopefully indoor showers will be doable soon but, for now, this will allow Marcy (and anybody else) to be near me without being personally offended.

Hip Photo Blog 

 Hill Junkie requested some photos, so here you go.

The hip this morning.  It's bruising nicely but the pain has mostly subsided as long as I don't do anything stupid (like trying to use it like I almost did in a drug induced haze the other night).

Hip bandage free to expose the 7 staples from surgery.  Gonna leave a gnarly scar but it will be right next to the scar I have from my first bike related concussion when I was around 8-10 years old.

The only real road rash that I have is on my right elbow. I'm also sporting a couple of stitches right on my elbow.

Couple of x-rays of the fracture.  I'll let you find the problem.  I don't have the eye for it.

An Update 

If you're friends with me on Facebook, you've probably seen the cryptic post I made from the back of an ambulance on Sunday and then the subsequent only slightly less cryptic description a day or two later.

Folks have been curious about details so I'll start to fill them in here.  I'm pretty dopey (more on that later) so I'm gonna keep it short and sweet.

Sunday I went for a sweet ride in the hills of Waitsfield with my buddies Jeff and Andy.  There was talk about hitting up the Mad River after the ride for a quick dip before my 5 hour drive home.

As we finished up the 3 hour ride, we descended a gravel to pavement road.  As we got onto the pavement, I glanced back to make sure Andy had made the turn at the top of the hill not realizing that Jeff was slowing down to go down to the river (I thought we were going to the cars first).  When I turned back, I was on top of Jeff and had no time to swerve, grab brake or do any other sort of evasive maneuver.   Here is the GoPro video of the ensuing crash.

Jeff and I went down in a pile.  I immediately knew that something was very wrong because I had difficulty rolling over.  Hoping that it was a case of getting stunned, I laid there hoping to be a be able to walk it off.  After about 15 minutes, it was obvious that I was in trouble and an ambulance was called.

A half hour ambulance ride was followed by x-rays (and some of the worst pain I've ever experienced when my foot got stuck on a sheet) and the prognosis that I had a fractured femoral head (crushed actually) and surgery was going to be necessary.  That's right folks, 37 year old has a broken hip and the very distinct possibility of a hip replacement in my near future if the bone doesn't recover.

More as I find the time and clarity through the many pain meds.

Don't Know If It's Going To Happen

It's looking unlikely that I'll get a Carrabassett race report this week.  Just aint gonna happen.  So I'll post this photo and a link to the results and you can fill in the blanks

.Results HERE

and, just for good measure, a video of B and I horking down raw oysters.  she beat here record here by downing 11 of the slimy suckers.

Hoo Boy

The Carrabassett 50-60 somewhat-ish was Sunday.  It's been a while since I've had so much fun while hating myself.  Sadly, I'm up to my short and curlies this week as I dash around getting shit done for work while I quietly fret about SS USA this coming weekend. 

Maybe a race report tomorrow.  If you'd like to skip to the chase, you can see the Carrabassett results HERE.  Here's a hint, I pussed out and raced expert instead of elite.  Sue me.

The Block

In late winter, when I checked off my planned races for this season, one important block of races stood out.  The Run Off, The Carrabassett Backcountry Cycle Challenge (I just call it the Carrabassett 60) and SS USA.  Three races that I wanted to key in on.  Well, The Run Off happened this past weekend with what I'll consider a successful outcome for me (I did beat two whole people and would have beat most of the expert field) and this weekend is the Carrabassett 60 (there are a lot of letters even in the shortened version) and I'm psyched.  Last year was the first ever C60 so it had it's hiccups but, overall, it was a super fun race even if I did want to shoot myself in the face in the last 8 miles.  Since then, the C Region NEMBA has been super busy improving and making new trails so that this year's version will be even better.  Personally, if they got rid of that one STEEP skidder road climb I'd be happy.

Once again, WillC is hooking us up with a sweet condo the night before which I'm sure will mean beers and tour watchage and very little sleep as it did last year.  Note to self, bring a fan this weekend.

Not much more to say so I'll leave you with this, a video recap of last year's race that I just found yesterday.  Enjoy.

http://www.wskitv.com/2011/08/17/2011-carrabassett-backcountry-cycle-challenge/

(sorry, couldn't figure out how to embed this one)

Maine Sport Run Off Part 2 

so much for technology.  Yesterday, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to put up part two so I ATTEMPTED to do a quick post from the new to me blogger app.  after much furious front of phone stabbing, I had a quick post that I tried to upload.  Unfortunately, I got the spiraling "working on it" symbol and that is all.  Trust me when I say it was some of my best work. You'll have to take my word for it.

Ok, so back at it.  So now I find myself in the part of the course where I feel like I can rip.  I'm good at semi fast, technical stuff, I'm not so good at super fast, downhill technical stuff so I was very happy to get into the backcountry portion of the course.  Sections of the course are very much like my home trails so I literally railed those bastards as I kept a very fearful ear out for Alby and unidentified expert #1 creeping up my rear.  I was so intent on riding fast and sceered that I allowed my front wheel to drop off the edge of a 10" bridge doing a nice endo into the ditch.  A quick assessment said the bike was fine as was the body except for a throbbing shin but my shins typically throb with awesome so I was able to ignore it.

I finished up lap one in just over an hour (better than I expected) and feeling surprising good but still fearful of what was to come.  I grabbed my second bottle from Marcy which would mean that I have three bottles for a 3-ish hour race.  Would this lead to drama?  Who knows.

The cool thing about the Camden course is that you lap through at the base lodge and there is always a good crowd gathered so I made an impressive showing hauling through the grassy slight uphill and then literally threw out the anchor as soon as I got around the corner and out of sight.  

Thankfully, the rest of the laps were shortened so that you didn't have to do the full climb which I was much appreciative of even though the shortened climb was still a solid 7-8 minutes.  As I started lap two, I saw Mr. ADD Alby just ahead on the climb maybe 10 seconds ahead.  I cheered out loud about catching him and he gave me some lame excuse about having a slow leak and having to stop or something.  Whatever, I wasn't listening, instead I was plotting how I was going to dispose of his body after I KILLED him on the climb.

Sadly, my legs didn't agree with my brain and Alby was able to hold his advantage during the climb and then literally blasted away on the first fast technical descent.  I thought for sure that was the last I'd see of him so I licked my wounds and soldiered on.

When I finally entered the backcountry, I caught up to Alby once again as he was having trouble with line choices (and a sore back) so this time I took my opportunity, passed him with more conviction than my body would have preferred on a quick uphill and then ran like hell.

Lap 2 finished up with another very impressive run past the lodge and then a squealing of brakes as I rounded the corner for yet another climb.  Lap three was mostly uneventful other than catching a bunch of sport riders while keeping a mindful ear out for anybody catching me which they thankfully didn't do.

I finished lap 3 of 4 at 2:38, just 7 minutes shy of the mercy time of 2:45 (because of the length of the race they decided to shorten the end of the race so nobody was out there much more than 3 hours).  I didn't know when or where I'd get pulled from the course but I knew it was coming and I hoped it was soon.  Very soon.  I waited, nay, prayed for a course marshal around every corner because I was feeling like a bag of smashed assholes and finally got my wish mid lap when I got to peel off and do the final downhill to the finish.  I crossed the line at 2:58 in 6th place in the elite field.  Andrew Freye would finish about 12 minutes later to take the victory.

2012 Maine Sport Run Off 

In a word, OUCH.

I've been racing at the Snow Bowl for years not (easily 10) and the course has changed quite a bit in that time, mostly for the better.  One little hitch that caused this year's course to be changed was the town deciding to put an XC ski corridor in an area of primo singletrack, the best stuff on the mountain actually.  So Mike and the crew had to get creative.  There was lots of stuff out there but how to connect it?  Until race day, I didn't know how they would do it but they pulled it off and made everybody cry uncle in the process.

Big Al and I did a quick pre-ride of the beginning and end of the course so we'd at least know what to expect there and I was glad that we did because it revealed a new wrinkle in the finish approach.  Just when you think you're finally done with climbing for the lap, one last kick to the groin climb is thrown in for good measure.  Mike and the crew had designed a beast.

We roll to the start line and Mike starts to give his spiel.  Lots of yada yada yada and then a round house "experts will be doing one long lap and two short laps and elites will be doing one long and THREE short laps".  Right there I thought I might die and really started to think that two freaking bottles just might not be enough for a race that was now likely to take 3 hours and have temps in the 80's.  Oops.  I guess that's what you get when you don't research races ahead of time.  Thankfully, I had given Marcy an emergency bottle which I was now sure to use. 

As usual, since the race is so far away from a lot of folks, the starting field was small-ish but still pretty stacked including Andrew Freye, ADD Alby, Brad Perley and Pete frickin Webber. My start plan was simple, take it easy (for a race) on the opening 20 minute climb and then see what I could do from there.  I generally do better the longer a race goes (within reason) so I hoped this strategery would work.  If nothing else, it should keep me from totally imploding 1 hour into the race.

Alby at the start

Big Al with me on his heels.

When the gun went off, about 10 folks jumped ahead of me to start the loooooonnnnnnngggggg climb.  I settled into a reasonable pace and plugged away picking up one spot to the top.  Once at the top, I took a swig of water and readied myself for the descent and then saw that the sadists that designed the course had added ANOTHER climb to the top of the typical climb.  Nothing huge but another minute or so in full sun climbing up a bunch of exposed granite ledges.  It was actually pretty cool riding but it couldn't have been less welcome at this point.

During the whole climb, KillBill was just a few seconds behind me.  I knew that he'd likely pass me on the downhill (he's the current Strava KOM for the descent) so I tried to gap him but within seconds of starting down, he was on my heels.  A few minutes in, I offered to let him pass but he declined so my job became to try to lose him and the other rider who were on my heels. 

Before long, we were off the descent and onto trails that I can actually rip on. 

The rest tomorrow.

Talents

We all know that I'm a very gifted writer and mountain bike racer extraordinaire, but you probably didn't know how awesome I am at my job (though you probably had already guessed...).  Well, now you know:

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Strava Is Evil 

Most of you probably already know about Strava and it's ability to rank ride segments. You may have even heard about it in the news recently when they were sued by the family of a man who died trying to reclaim his KOM for a fast road descent in California.  I, of course, think the lawsuit is el-stupido, but that isn't why I think Strava is evil. It's evil because once you claim a KOM or get a 2nd or 3rd, you are consumed with trying to best the other times or improve yours to retain your crown. I've just recently started to use Strava and it is already the bane/salvation of my existence.  A couple of my Strava buddies have KOM's in my area so, yesterday, as I was pondering my ride plan I decided to try to beat a couple of them.  It was unlikely to work since they were late enough in my planned 60 mile ride that I was probably going to already be smoked but I was going to give them a shot anyway.

First up was WillC's title on Blinn hill.  I already held the third place spot but I hoped that with a little luck, I could unseat Willy.  Unfortunately, the legs didn't have it but I did, in the process, turn myself inside out trying which I likely wouldn't have done otherwise so thank you Strava for making me kill myself on a climb only a third of the way into a 3.5 mile ride.  Thanks a bunch.

Second up was TomH's title on a short section of road in Nobleboro.  I had unsuccessfully contested the section on Saturday because I had started on the wrong road so I decided to try again after 3 hours on Sunday (I have mentioned that I haven't done a ride over three hours yet this year right?).  I drilled the section, much to my screaming legs chagrin, and knew, just KNEW that I had bested Tom's time.  That is until I struggled the last 1/2 hour home and uploaded the gps data and found out that Tom had very sneakily added a tiny little section on a connecting road so Strava didn't recognize the effort.  farging cork suckers.

Oh well, I guess I have a couple of KOM's to chase.

I haven't done a riding self pic in a while.  Guess I'm rusty.

First ride over 40 miles this year.  I've had a slow, sad start to my season.

Damariscotta Lake for Bunker Hill

It has become exceptionally clear to me recently that endurance is my achilles heal which isn't good when you have a bunch of 3-6 hour races coming up so I've vowed to do one 3+ hour ride a week for the rest of the season. We'll see how that goes.